The nine months, from the dad's side

First trimester (weeks 1–12): survive it

This is the hardest stretch physically for most women and the most invisible one socially — she is often exhausted and nauseous while nobody knows she's pregnant. Fatigue is not laziness; the hormonal load in early pregnancy is enormous.

• Take over cooking. Smell drives nausea more than taste does.
• Absorb the social cover story if you're not telling people yet.
• Get to the dating scan, usually around 12 weeks.

Second trimester (13–27): use the good months

Energy usually returns, the bump appears, and movement starts becoming obvious from the outside. This is when you do the things you won't be able to do later.

• The anatomy scan at around 20 weeks is the one to attend. It's longer and more detailed and it's where problems are found if there are any.
• Book antenatal classes — they book out months ahead in most cities.
• Have the money conversation properly: how much to save.
• Sort your leave in writing.

Third trimester (28–40+): logistics and nerves

Sleep gets hard for her, appointments get frequent, and the waiting starts to bite. Your job shifts to logistics — car seat, bag, route, call list — and to keeping the atmosphere calm.

• Car seat fitted and tested well before the due date.
• Bag packed and in the car from 36 weeks.
• Birth preferences written and read by you, not just her.
• Know what real labour looks like so you're not the one panicking.

The decisions to make before the birth

• Who is on the call list — and, more importantly, who is not coming to the hospital.
• Whether visitors come day one, week one, or later. Agree it now; enforce it then.
• Pain relief preferences, and what happens if the plan changes.
• Who tells work, and when.
• Whether photos get posted, and by whom. This one causes real fights.