How do I know if she's actually in labour?
Real labour contractions get longer, stronger and closer together and don't stop when she moves or rests. Practice (Braxton Hicks) contractions are irregular, don't intensify, and usually ease off with a change of position or a warm bath. Call your midwife or unit for their guidance rather than a rule you read online — and always call straight away if her waters break, there's bleeding, or the baby's movements have changed.
The difference, in practice
| Practice contractions | Real labour |
|---|---|
| Irregular, no pattern | A pattern that tightens over hours |
| Don't get stronger | Progressively stronger |
| Often ease with movement, rest or a bath | Keep going regardless |
| Usually felt at the front | Often start in the back and wrap round |
| Uncomfortable | Increasingly hard to talk through |
The talk test is the practical one: when she can no longer hold a normal sentence through a contraction, things have moved on.
How to time them properly
Time from the start of one contraction to the start of the next — that's the frequency. Time from start to finish of a single one — that's the duration. People routinely get this wrong and report a much shorter gap than they have.
Your maternity service will give you a threshold for when to come in (commonly expressed as contractions of a certain length, a certain number of minutes apart, holding steady for an hour). Use theirs, not one from the internet, and write it on the fridge at 36 weeks.
Call now, regardless of the timing
- Her waters break — note the time and the colour, and say if it's green, brown or bloody.
- There is any vaginal bleeding.
- The baby's movements have slowed, changed or stopped. This is never something to sleep on.
- She has a severe headache, visual disturbance, sudden swelling or pain under the ribs — these can indicate pre-eclampsia.
- She has a fever, or she simply feels that something is wrong.
Nobody at a maternity unit is annoyed by a call. They take these calls all night, every night, and would far rather assess a false alarm than miss a real one.
Your job in early labour
Early labour can last a long time and is usually best spent at home. Keep her fed, keep her drinking, encourage rest between contractions rather than pacing, and keep the atmosphere ordinary — a film, a bath, low lights. Meanwhile: fuel in the car, bag in the boot, phones charging, route confirmed.
Get some sleep yourself if the timing allows. It sounds unromantic and it's the most useful thing you can do for hour eighteen.
Quick answers
How long does first labour usually take?
Longer than most people expect, and hugely variable — first labours commonly run many hours from established labour. Your midwife can give you a realistic picture for her situation.
What if we go in and get sent home?
It happens constantly and it is not a failure. Being assessed is the point.
Sources reviewed
Every figure on this page links to its primary source. If one is out of date, tell us and we'll fix it.