How much should you actually save before the baby comes?

The three numbers that matter

1. The income gap. Her normal take-home, minus whatever paid parental leave she'll actually receive, times the number of months she'll be off. Get the real figures from your government scheme and her employer, in writing. This is nearly always the biggest number by a distance.
2. The buffer. Three months of your household's ordinary outgoings, sitting in a separate account you don't look at. Its job is that a broken car or a boiler doesn't become a crisis in the same month as a newborn.
3. The gear. Genuinely a few hundred if you're sensible, because a large share of it is borrowed, gifted or bought secondhand.

What actually costs money, month to month

• Nappies and wipes — relentless, small, adds up.
• Formula, if you use it. This is a real ongoing cost and it is not a moral question.
• Heating. Your house will be warmer for longer than it used to be.
• Convenience: takeaways, deliveries, parking, taxis. Nobody budgets for this and everybody spends it.
• Later, childcare — the largest single cost of the first few years in most countries, and worth researching long before you need it.

What genuinely doesn't need buying new

• Clothes. You'll be given more than you can use, in the wrong sizes.
• Moses basket, bouncer, baby bath, play mat, carrier — borrowed or secondhand is fine and they get used for weeks.
• Changing table. A towel on a bed works.
• Most "nursery" anything, given that safe-sleep guidance in most countries has the baby in your room for months.

What to do this month

1. Find out your actual parental-leave entitlements — both of you, in writing, from the scheme and the employer.
2. Set up an automatic transfer on payday into a separate account. The amount matters less than the automation.
3. Cancel two subscriptions you don't use. It's small, and it's momentum.
4. Agree a rule for who can spend what without asking. Money arguments after a baby are usually about surprise, not amount.